10 Men Get Brutally Honest About Watching Their Partners Give Birth
"I now know that my wife has a much higher pain tolerance than I."
BY LAUREN HARTMANN | Mar 6, 2016 | Sex & Relationships
Cosmopolitan.com asked 10 men to reveal what it's really like to watch their wives give birth. Here are all the gory and adorable details.
1 | "The birth of our first child smelled like beef jerky." —Jordan, 32
2 | "I watched my wife tear apart like tissue paper! I didn't know skin could do that. The midwife moved the mirror real fast but I still saw it all." —Nano, 30
3 | "I'd heard several people say that they couldn't bear to watch their wives give birth, so I had no idea what to expect. Blood? Poop? Blood and poop? As I watched my first daughter come into the world though, I experienced the following emotions, in this order: (1) Tears. So many tears. I had never cried like that, and I don't think I've cried that hard since. (2) Why is my child blue? Is she supposed to be blue? Can we get a doctor in here who will acknowledge the fact that my daughter is blue? Is she OK? Oh, she's crying, OK, we're good. (3) Holy crap, my wife is a badass. She just pushed a human out of her body! Thank god men aren't the ones giving birth, because we’d have gone extinct millennia ago!" —Stephen, 32
4 | "I would rather go through that much pain and work myself than watch my wife go through it. Watching the person you love be in that much pain and knowing it's partly your fault is horrible." —Craig, 30
5 | "Watching my wife give birth was exhausting, which isn't something you're really allowed to say when you're not the one pushing out a baby, but it's true. For almost 24 hours, I had to push on my wife's back and let her squeeze my hand during contractions. Sometimes, I literally had to hold her up, and I was so tired I was literally falling asleep during contractions. When our baby finally arrived, I felt like I got hit by a truck. My wife got this crazy burst of energy from all the birth endorphins, but not me. I have never been so tired in all my life." —Thomas, 31
6 | "I wasn't sure what to expect, but I wouldn't change a thing. I saw my daughter's first breath, I watched an event I managed to avoid during high school health class (It wasn't that bad!), and I witnessed a kind of strength and resilience in my wife that left me in awe of what she could do. I can't imagine not being there. Were there times I was tempted to look away? Sure. But I’m glad I didn't. That experience made the bond between us even stronger. Also: Placenta. Ewwww.” —Hemant, 33
7 | "I was determined to not get freaked out during the delivery of our first child. I had heard the horror stories, taken the classes, and seen the videos. My mindset was basically: Get over it, dude. Your part is easy. If my wife can endure an all-natural childbirth in an eerily zen-like state, then I sure as heck better be able to hang for the grand finale. Our midwife asked if I wanted to catch the baby, and I couldn't have been more excited and nervous — 'What if I drop him?!' I thought. I shook off the fear, gloved up, and assumed my best (and first) babycatching stance. Once he started to crown, I remember thinking, 'That doesn't look so bad.' Then, my wife pushed again and I realised that what I thought was crowning was just the tip of the tip of the iceberg — total cannonball in a drinking straw situation. 'OHMYGODHOW?!?!' I thought. 'THERESNOFREAKINGWAY.' But come he did, as perfectly as anyone could wish for. I handed him to his mom, cut the cord, and was suddenly, officially, a dad. I learned several things that day, two of them being: My son inherited his mother’s family's enormous head gene, and that liberal, diligent use of mineral oil might be the actual miracle of childbirth." —Nathan, 37
8 | "I stayed behind the curtain during my wife's C-section. But after our son was ripped out of her abdomen, I went around to watch them weigh him. I accidentally looked at my wife and OHMYGOSH there is a gaping dark hole in my wife!!! Why did I look!?!" —Eugene, 35
9 | "Ever since I heard my wife give birth, all future pain is related to pregnancy, on an audible scale. I listen to my wife's groans of pain and know exactly how much it hurts her by the pitch, volume, and octave. After all, I have over 50 hours of experience after three births. I now know that my wife has a much higher pain tolerance than me. Signing up to do that three times? No thanks!" —Andy, 32
10 | "Watching my wife bring our son into the world, and consequently, his birth, was one of the most stunning, ineffably beautiful things I've ever seen. I have a hard time understanding why men would look away or find it harmful to their romantic relationship later on. Women are human transformers, and childbirth is without doubt one of the best examples of this fact. I always tell people they can delete photos and footage, but they can never go back in time to recreate it. Trust me, now or later, you’ll want that experience captured. It's the moment your whole life changed." —Charlie, 34