Man at His Best

The Weekend Roundup: Record Breakers And Fantasy Makers

In Bukit Batok to London, in the Premier League to the Madrid Masters and in a banana.

BY Zul Andra | May 9, 2016 | Culture

1 | Politics: Dr Chee loses Bukit Batok
Singapore Democratic Party’s (SDP) chief, Dr Chee Soon Juan, lost in the recent Bukit Batok by-election with 38.8 percent of the votes—against the People Action Party’s (PAP) Murali Pillai. But both went home winners after receiving a stunning garland of orchids. We wonder if there’s a cool looking vase for that. The constituency was previously held by PAP MP David Ong who resigned after losing a personal by-election with the husband of a woman he was having an affair with. He too received a garland of orchids after his being elected in September last year. This garland of orchids is not for everyone, we assume.

2 | Football: Leicester official lifts trophy; Middlesbrough in top league after 7-year wait
In a week of what seems like fantasy football, Leicester—already Premier League champions—finally claim their prize after a 3-1 win at home against Everton. For Middlesbrough, their 1-1 draw against Football League Championship leaders Brighton secured Boro’s place in the Premier League after 7 years in the lower leagues. Will Boro do a Leicester and go to the top? Will the Foxes do a Nottingham Forest of the ‘80s and win the European Cup? Will UK's Natural Environment Research Council ever accept Boaty McBoatface as a name for their research ship? So many questions.

3 | Politics: Sadiq Khan is London's first Muslim mayor
The Daily Beast’s writer, Maajid Nawaz, described Sadiq Khan’s victory as “much a blow to Islamist bigots as it is to anti-Muslim bigots”. The son of Pakistani immigrants in UK, Khan received 1.3 million votes to become the capital’s first-ever Muslim mayor. That’s it. We got nothing funny to add here.

4 | Tennis: Novak Djokovic wins Madrid Masters
Novak Djokovic defeated Andy Murray in three sets to clinch a record 29th career Masters title and his second in Madrid. If you’re not a fan of green balls being smacked around, watch the Serb’s masterful play in this one. It’s like an enduring chess match with bursts of running.  

5 | Fruits: China bans live streaming of erotic banana-eating
In a controversial move which have left netizens bothered and bewildered, Chinese authorities have banned live-streaming of girls eating bananas in a “seductive fashion”. Cucumbers are currently not affected by the ban as they are more commonly used to scare the bejesus out of cats. Nothing wrong with that, it seems.