Man at His Best

Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un Has Rid North Korea of Intolerable Sarcasm

Peace and prosperity will be the fruits of this great decree.

BY MATT MILLER | Sep 9, 2016 | Culture

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First Secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea, First Chairman of the National Defence Commission of the DPRK, Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army, and international fashion icon Kim Jong-un has outlawed a mode of satirical wit that has long plagued the venerated workers of our great North Korea.

The wise leader has banned sarcasm in everyday conversations, according to reports.

"One state security official personally organised a meeting to alert local residents to potential 'hostile actions' by internal rebellious elements," a source in Jagang Province told Radio Free Asia's Korean Service.

Long have the people of this bright land suffered under the tyrannical taunting ambivalence and irony of this rhetorical device. Under immediate threat of these words only understood in the context of which they are delivered, his great and just commander has called forth a meeting of local authorities to warn of its dangers.

Within the past year, the brilliant leader has put forth a number of new measures to preserve a bright future for this glorious land. He's started an international hat trend, debuted a stunning new haircut craze, and invented doctor's most recommended dieting fad.

His latest effort will be "real useful" indeed.

From: Esquire US.