Man at His Best

Iranian Footballer Banned For SpongeBob Pants

Six-month ban for goalie Sosha Makani for wearing yellow pants.

BY Jason S Ganesan | Jun 10, 2016 | Culture

YouTube / Nickelodeon

Persepolis FC goalkeeper Sosha Makani was banned for six months by the morality committee of the Football Federation Islamic Republic of Iran (FFIRI) for wearing a pair of SpongeBob-inspired pants.

As much as Makani’s gaudy yellow pants may be a fashion crime, an FFIRI official said that the committee was concerned about the “impact [the pants] can have on the society.” Which is arguably only slightly less ridiculous than a sporting body having a morality committee in the first place.

The Guardian/ TNews

The photos of Makani and his SquarePants first emerged in May. However, the FFIRI only took action against the ‘indecency’ this week, after waiting for nearly a month for the player to show up and be questioned over his pants.

Only he didn’t. Because somehow, the FFIRI failed to realise that any man who chooses to rock yellow SpongeBob pants in public—with matching blue and yellow sneakers to boot—clearly has godlike powers of apathy.

In truth, Makani has good reason to be weary of the whole mess. Just last January, he was sent to jail for being photographed with a few women—one of whom is his fiancée—who were not wearing the compulsory hijab.